Imagine Nelson Muntz wearing a hockey jersey and saying, "Ha-Haaa."
Ah, the Maple Leafs' NHL season has begun and with it the traditional optimistic headlines in the Toronto media, only to be inevitably followed by ledes depicting the hopes of the home team's fans being shattered as though they were teeth stopping a slapshot. This year, the switch happened more quickly than usual.

On September 23rd, after the Leafs won their first preseason game against Buffalo, 7-4, the Star's headline read, Leafs off to a strong start.

"[Coach Ron] Wilson's defence-first mantra that also calls for making quick passes, an aggressive forecheck and relentless backchecking,[sic] was the reason the 20 men who lined up in blue and white last night made such a favourable first impression with their new coach.... There was a lot to like with how the Leafs played last night," said the story.

Only two days later came the first loss - 3-2 to Pittsburgh. Leafs can't solve mighty Pens - Toronto's top line ineffectual against defending conference champs, even with Crosby on shelf, lamented the Star.

"Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson had a memory flash during the second intermission last night and it helped his team salvage at least one period of an otherwise dispiriting pre-season game against the Pittsburgh Penguins."

The second game of the home-and-home series yielded a 5-4 loss. The headline, Late collapse spells defeat for Leafs - 'There's a mentality that I'm going to have to crack here,' says Wilson after Pittsburgh's comeback win, was followed by a few paragraphs that sportswriters in Toronto have come to think of as boilerplate.

"For a moment, Ron Wilson sounded just like Paul Maurice.

"Of course, the new Maple Leafs coach had just witnessed the same kind of third-period meltdown... that ultimately cost Maurice his job....

"Wilson's Leafs – very much a work in progress – took a 3-2 lead into the third.... But sloppy, old habits kicked in."

And then came Saturday's 3-2 loss in Buffalo. The Star's headline, "Pogge perfect . . . for 57 minutes" was subtitled, "Late goals by Sabres cost young goalie a shutout, Leafs a win."

"This certainly isn't the first version of the Maple Leafs to melt down in dramatic fashion here at HSBC Arena," wrote Paul Hunter, suggesting that "there should be an award for the Leaf most victimized by the Sabres... presented after each visit here."

Hunter didn't become more hopeful as he continued writing.

"In an exhibition game with a storyline that will likely become familiar this season – "Leafs work hard, let victory slip away" – [goaltender Justin] Pogge would be holding the hardware last night."

Meanwhile, Mats Sundin sits in his house in Sweden and tries to decide whether or not to retire, sign with another team, or come back to the Leafs. That decision must be narrowing to two choices in a hurry.