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13 June 2009 @ 08:58 am
Random Thoughts Upon Spending Three Hours At Pittsburgh International Airport.  

  • The airport's ICAO call sign is KPIT. Contrary to what one might think, this is not short for "Pittsburgh" but rather for "(Another) Pit of Despair."

  • Nobody knows who wrote the first set of specifications for the public address (PA) system used in airports, or why it was designed to convert normal human speech sounds into something resembling flatulence played through a bullhorn.

  • If you are able to locate the airport employee with the remote, those banks of monitors which are supposed to show incoming flights' arrival times can be switched on and used to display that information, or you can watch the community cable channel in high definition.

  • Instead of publishing flight schedules, the airlines will soon just park airplanes on the tarmac. Flight attendants will stand near each aircraft's boarding gate with a hand-made sign indicating the flight's destination (for example, Gate 1 might be Pittsburgh, Gate 2 Detroit, Gate 3 Los Angeles, etc.). When the plane fills up, the flight will leave. This is expected to save each airline millions of dollars annually. Except for the signs, travelers and the people awaiting them at their destination will have no idea that any change has been implemented.

  • In an effort to improve what they call the "user experience" and as a cost-saving measure, future airports' architectural designs will be based on the works of M.C. Escher and will use verses of Nostradamus' quatrains in place of traditional direction signs. Once again, it is expected that travelers and other people using the airport will have no idea that any change has been implemented, although some inadvertent improvements in service may occur.